Turkey Day

My family and I had a wonderful Thanksgiving this year! Jillian and I were the master chefs and decoration designers for our feast. Here are some fun pictures of our day...I am oh so thankful for my family!

What a beautiful day!

Our crafty table decorations!

The family...

Thankful

Thanksgiving has come and gone. I cannot believe that the year is almost over. I have to admit that it is somewhat of a relief though, as I get to start a new year, fresh and hopeful, a start with just myself to take care of. 2008 was a rough year, I lost a piece of me and who I was, but I also a found a strength in relying on people who love me. So with the holidays approaching so quickly, I couldn't let the year end without publicly publishing my thank you list. There are some people who really stood by me and showed me what true friendships and love really are.

First and foremost, my Mom, my rock, my best friend! My mom has a always stood by my decisions and never judged me, even if she disagreed with those said decisions. She has given me a place of refuge to go to until my head clears and until I am ready to step back out there on my own. It has been a weird process as I am almost 30 years old and I live with my mom again. I thought it would be going backwards for me, but it has actually helped me move forward and who wouldn't want to be surrounded by love when you are going through such a difficult transition. So thank you mom, I owe you so much more than I will probably ever be able to give back to you, but I will try my hardest! I love you!

My cousin Jillian and her husband Jared, the newlyweds in the family, have been such a great source of love and wisdom. Countless times these past few months they have made sure I kept busy, they listened to me, advised me, and have gladly made me the third wheel to many movie and dinner nights and even a Utah roadtrip. Their devotion and love for one another is reason alone for me to believe that it is possible to find true love in this world. I can only hope I find someone as perfect for me as they are for one another. Thank you Kennedy's, you have been more than just family to me, you have been very dear friends as well. I love you both.

My Ku'uipo, my friend, Maren. Well, Maren has been a different kind of support. My no nonsense, tell it like it is cousin has kept me focused. No sugar coating here. She has given me strength in a way no one else has. She won't let me wallow in despair or cry on her shoulder, but at the same time she has been considerate of my feelings and has not been "too" harsh. She helps me realize things are for the best and that I have made the right desicion. She makes me accept that the worst is over and to look forward to my future. But most of all she makes me laugh and to me that is so important as it is one of my favorite past times. So, thanks cousin for making me strong and making me laugh. I love ya!

My friends...specifically Genie, Dinah, Nicole, Karen,Natalie, and Danielle. As in one of my previous posts I said that it is amazng the people who show up and help you in a time of need.
Genie is one of my dearest friends, a true "best" friend who from day one has always had my best interest at heart. I think she is one of the greatest people in my life and without her I would be less of who I am today. From 90210 nights to walks on the beach to Maui trips to over-the-phone therapy sessions she has always been there for me. I love ya Genie!

Mz. Dinah, a surprise friendship. We went to highschool together and didn't even know one another and now ten years later she has become such a good, true friend. Her heart of gold and yummy cooking have been some of the things that have gotten my issues off my mind. She has been there for more then some people I have known for awhile and for that I can't thank her enough. Besos Di-nita.

Nicole, oh where do I start? My dumb and dumber partner in crime. Working with her has

made my job so much more of a fun place to be. I have laughed so much with her that my make-up has run, I couldn't breathe, and my stomach muscles have literally hurt. Another surprise as she has been there for me more than most and I will in turn always be there for her. Heart you Nickie BM!

Karen, my boss who hates to be called that, but it's okay because she has been more than just a boss to me for a very long time. Karen has always been such a good friend, inside and outside of work. She has supported my choices and has given very wise words of advise. We share books, gossip, and laughs and I know she is there for me in my times of need! Thank you Karen, I love ya lots!

Natalie, other than family I have known her the longest. The little sister of one of my cherished friend's has gone from a little girl to one of the most compassionate and kind hearted woman I know. Her sensitive nature has been a great comfort to me and when Nicole, her, and I get together it's chaos! Above all she has listened and gave me great advice from the heart and I love ya for that Nat! Thank you so much.

Danielle, we lost touch for awhile, but I am so happy to have you back in my life. Thank you for your concern and love for my well being! Thank you so much for connecting me back to Caroline too. I am so glad we can share something as special as our faith together. I truly love ya Dan Dan!

There are so many other people to thank, I haven't forgotten what any of you have done. I hate to lump you all together, but if you don't mind, I will save my personal words for you for another day.

We all have something to be thankful for and I hope you all take the time to remind those who you are thankful for, even if it is yourself, what they (or you!)mean to you.

I Love Me

My mind has been a blank canvas the last couple of days, hence why I have not posted. I could blame it on my busy credential program or to the fact that I am beginning a long term sub job, but deep down I know it is more than that. Moving on with your life after such a big change does something to your soul. It pulls it back and forth between the past and the present. I'll be getting along just fine doing some odd chore or task and then...BAM...a flash of my life a few months ago or ten years ago, pops into my head. It slows me down, makes me think, it hurts my heart. I know I am doing the right thing, but that doesn't mean it doesn't come with a price to pay. Becoming an independent person, free from the constraints of a relationship, feels a bit wrong. Maybe that didn't come out the way I intended. I have always been a two person unit, the decisions I made affected us both and vice versa. I am a monogamous creature by nature, I crave the closeness of a committed relationship. So to make a choice free from worrying about how it will impact my other half is so bizarre. I have always been so "in love" with the idea of love that I never took into consideration that someday I may not be anymore. Love yourself...I hear that a lot lately and trust me it weighs heavy on my heart. I mean I want good things in my life, I want to be happy, so I'm pretty sure that means I love myself. I wouldn't have made the decisions I have in the last couple of weeks if I didn't right? I have come to realize that...YES, I do love myself and I have taken some pretty big strides to remind myself of that. Co-ed softball, boot camp, the Dream Center, going to concerts, reading a good book, hanging out with my family and friends...it's all ways I try to remind myself that I love "me". So in turn I hope that you, whoever you are, reading this blog 'o mine, also makes the time to remind yourself that you love "you" too! Because we're worth it!